Preface

Truth

The truth is colour blind;
it does not see man or woman; race or creed;
it is not found exclusively in a particular religion or philosophy yet when spoken the truth resonates deep within your soul.

Ego

The ego is the great liar! It wants you to believe that you are not perfect and that you need to have more but the truth about you is this:
You are not what you have;
You are not what you do;
You are not what people think of you;
You are not separate from everyone else;
You are not separate from what you need to be happy.
You are whole and perfect exactly as you are.
The day you believe this truth
is the day you will the master of your destiny.

The Rules sound so simple and yet they are truly difficult to master.
Why? The answer is as simple as the rules are. We all like to live in a comfort zone. The comfort zone may not even be working for us and in fact cause us a great deal of grief in our life and relationships, but it’s what we are familiar with so we hesitate to change. We resist changing what we are doing simply because we are used to doing it that way and we justify what we are doing by saying that it’s our habit.

It is the nature of Humans to develop habits. Habits are Natures way of keeping us safe, it starts from the time we are tiny babies and realise that if we cry out we will get a reaction. It doesn’t matter if we are hungry, lonely or in pain. We make our need known and we have it met, nothing changes over the lifetime of a Human just the need and the solution to getting that need met.

Along the way we develop an expectation that if we do “X” then “Y’ will occur. Unfortunately the variables of a situation will change or sometimes an individual that we are expecting a reaction in our favour from doesn’t quite respond the way we would like them to.

This is when problems start.

When expectations are not met then the people who are interacting become confused. This confusion can result in one or more of several things.
1. Hostility or anger (This is not fair, what is your problem)
2. Defensive posturing ( It’s not me it’s them)
3. Low self esteem ( It must be me, I’m not worthy )
4. Separation from the situation (leaving, walking away either temporarily or permanently)

Think of a time when you entered into a situation that didn’t go the way you expected it to go. What was your reaction after the first feelings of confusion? When this happened a second or third time, did you say to yourself -
“Maybe this approach isn’t working and I need to change it” or did you say
“I don’t know why I even bother it always turns out this way. I’m just not good at it”? “They don’t understand”

Most of us will fall in to the second option and for a very valid reason.
For a lot of other people this solution to a problem works perfectly fine, so it must be us. If only I was, smarter, taller, shorter, more talented, less controlling, a man, a woman, I would be able to do this and do it well. You become used to failing and come to expect it. You now have developed a “Failure Habit”.

Still confused? Don’t worry you are not alone. Let’s look at the rules one by one and see if it can start to make sense.